ONE SENTENCE REVIEWS
It's been a while since I last posted. That's what happens when you're busy saving the world from evil (i.e. I've been lazy).
To ensure I tackle the most with as little work as possible, I've decided to review a number of video games I have played since my last post in (mostly) one sentence. You're welcome.
Assassin's Creed III - Daddy issues make for the best missions.
Bioshock Infinite - My favorite escort mission.
Borderlands 2 - This game would be great if I had friends.
Deadly Premonition: Director's Cut - NOPE.
Deadpool - If I had paid for this, I would have been disappointed.
Dishonored - If you hate generic storylines, you won't get more than twenty minutes in.
DmC: Devil May Cry - Capcom. What r u doing?
Far Cry 3 - It's natural to side with the antagonist, right?
God of War: Ascension - The angriest, bloodiest prequel that ever was. Also, boobs.
Injustice: Gods Among Us - Punch face, bro.
The Last of Us - Character Development: The Movie: The Game.
LEGO Lord of the Rings - Shut up and take my money.
Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch - It's fucking magical.
Okami HD - The best way to win the argument for video games as an art form.
Persona 4 Arena - My love for Persona outweighs my inability to be good at fighters.
Playstation All-Stars: Battle Royale - A Playstation fans wet dream ripoff.
Resident Evil 6 - Capcom. Stahp.
SimCity - Just kidding, no one plays this.
Sleeping Dogs - Massive environment interactivity is a lie.
Spec Ops: The Line - Remember when war games used to have a story? 2K remembers.
Tokyo Jungle - Don't fuck with Pomeranians.
Tomb Raider - Lara Croft just happens to be the name of our interchangeable protagonist.
The Walking Dead - Point-and-click the feels.
XCOM: Enemy Unknown - If you think Normal is relative, you're gonna have a bad time.
Assassin's Creed III: Liberation - You'll never hear about the events of this game in the main series.
Persona 4: Golden - The bear-y best BeaRPG. Case closed. Let's get drunk.
Zero Escape: Virture's Last Reward - I really should have finished 999 first.
Animal Crossing New Leaf - Friendship cocaine.
Harvest Moon: A New Beginning - Yaks and llamas? It's a totally different game!
Kingdom Hearts 3D - No one really knows what's going on anymore so have some fluffy sidekicks.
Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate - Why are these games not on a better system?
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner: Soul Hackers - Welcome back to the 90's.
To ensure I tackle the most with as little work as possible, I've decided to review a number of video games I have played since my last post in (mostly) one sentence. You're welcome.
PLAYSTATION 3 GAMES
Bioshock Infinite - My favorite escort mission.
Borderlands 2 - This game would be great if I had friends.
Deadly Premonition: Director's Cut - NOPE.
Deadpool - If I had paid for this, I would have been disappointed.
Dishonored - If you hate generic storylines, you won't get more than twenty minutes in.
DmC: Devil May Cry - Capcom. What r u doing?
Far Cry 3 - It's natural to side with the antagonist, right?
God of War: Ascension - The angriest, bloodiest prequel that ever was. Also, boobs.
Injustice: Gods Among Us - Punch face, bro.
The Last of Us - Character Development: The Movie: The Game.
LEGO Lord of the Rings - Shut up and take my money.
Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch - It's fucking magical.
Okami HD - The best way to win the argument for video games as an art form.
Persona 4 Arena - My love for Persona outweighs my inability to be good at fighters.
Playstation All-Stars: Battle Royale - A Playstation fans wet dream ripoff.
Resident Evil 6 - Capcom. Stahp.
SimCity - Just kidding, no one plays this.
Sleeping Dogs - Massive environment interactivity is a lie.
Spec Ops: The Line - Remember when war games used to have a story? 2K remembers.
Tokyo Jungle - Don't fuck with Pomeranians.
Tomb Raider - Lara Croft just happens to be the name of our interchangeable protagonist.
The Walking Dead - Point-and-click the feels.
XCOM: Enemy Unknown - If you think Normal is relative, you're gonna have a bad time.
PLAYSTATION VITA GAMES
Assassin's Creed III: Liberation - You'll never hear about the events of this game in the main series.
Persona 4: Golden - The bear-y best BeaRPG. Case closed. Let's get drunk.
Zero Escape: Virture's Last Reward - I really should have finished 999 first.
NINTENDO 3DS GAMES
Animal Crossing New Leaf - Friendship cocaine.
Harvest Moon: A New Beginning - Yaks and llamas? It's a totally different game!
Kingdom Hearts 3D - No one really knows what's going on anymore so have some fluffy sidekicks.
Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate - Why are these games not on a better system?
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner: Soul Hackers - Welcome back to the 90's.
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